Blessings x 2

Just when I think things couldn't get better, the blessings are doubled!  It's been 3 days, but it still doesn't feel real....

Since I can remember, I've always wanted twins.  They aren't in my family and they are not in Garet's family so I knew if I ever had twins, it would truly be a miracle.  Since finding out a month ago I was growing a child, at least four people had mentioned maybe they are twins.  That never happened when I was pregnant with the other two.  Thor had also told me I had babies in my tummy.  It was hard to push the thought from my mind because of my strong desire for twins, but I knew in all seriousness, it was not going to happen.  At my doctor appointment this past Friday, the midwife wanted me to get an ultrasound to find out exactly how far along I was.  As I was walking into the room to see my precious child, I thought to myself  "I am not going to be disappointed if I don't have twins".  So when the tech said "there are two", it really wasn't a complete shock.  God had given me the desires of my heart.  Now, Garet is a different story.  I think he was in a complete state of shock.  ha ha.

God prepares us for the different stages of our life.  It is no coincidence that I had that desire in my heart to begin with.  It's no coincidence that people over the past couple of weeks had mentioned it could be twins.  And it's no coincidence that I was a nanny to twins for a year and a half, from the time they were 3 months old.  I don't believe in coincidences.  I believe God has a specific plan for our lives.  I have no problem with Christians believing they have total free will over their lives.  But I know from personal experience, that my life has not been my own.  And that is the most freeing and comforting truth.  Despite all my sins, I cannot be pulled away from Christ.  God knew me before I was born, and knew I was his child.  He pursued me, opened my eyes to Him, and loved me first.  I didn't choose Him on my own accord, he chose me.

I'm ready for this adventure of four kids, five years old and under.  A little nervous, but God doesn't give us more than we can handle.  I hope in all the chaos I just remember to take one day at a time. To have patience, joy and love in abundance for these little lives depending on me.  And the grace to cover my multitude of mistakes I'm sure to make.

A Christmas Gift

"For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them."
Psalm 139: 13-16

Often, the most surprising events to happen in your life end up being some of the best.  You can plan and plan as much as you like, but in the end, it all comes down to God's plan.  And for that, I am most thankful. 

A week before Christmas, I received a surprise.  A positive pregnancy test.  It's a little remarkable that I even took it to begin with.  We weren't trying to get pregnant, I didn't feel pregnant and I wasn't even late at the time.  We had only been in our new place a couple of weeks and as the procrastinator that I am, our room was (and still is) a bit of a mess.  I was going through some boxes and found an extra pregnancy test.  The thought passed through my mind, "wouldn't it be neat to tell family I was pregnant on Christmas".  Thirty minutes later, still thinking about it, I decided to take it and confirm I wasn't.  Ha ha.  

Fast forward almost a week.  I had kept this a secret from everyone, and had a whole plan of how I was going to tell Garet.  I had taken a picture of the pregnancy test and placed it in an envelope to put in his stocking.  The more I thought about it though, I was beginning to think maybe that wasn't the best idea.  This after all wasn't part of our plan.  So Christmas Eve morning, before Garet had even gotten out of bed, I gave him the envelope.  Needless to say, he was a little speechless. But excited nonetheless.  

It's a little bittersweet, as this will be our last.  Garet and I don't feel comfortable going past 3 c-sections even though I know it's possible.  But I hope someday in the future, we can adopt.  Adoption has always been on my heart and I would love a big family to take care of.  God knows what my future holds, and I'm content in that. Right now I'm just going to focus on getting through this "all day" sickness and look to the end of August when I'll be holding a precious baby.

Newtown Tragedy

A few days ago, there was a horrific event that ended with 26 dead, 20 of them children. Unfortunately, this event doesn't surprise me.  What did surprise me, were the number of people shocked by it and the comments made.  I'm aware, that when emotions are high sometimes words are just spoken without any real thought behind them.  I do it quite often.  I saw things like "there is special place in hell for the shooter", "guns should be banned", "what has the world come to", "evil has hit a new level", etc., etc., etc.  I'm sure many stand behind their feelings and that's fine, this is a free country, thank God.

Here is my view.  No, there is nothing new here, the world has always had sin.  This is not the first time in history innocent lives, including children, have been lost.  Sadly, nor will it be the last.  In fact, in other cases, unlike this one, the killer has been of a sound state of mind, just complete calculated evil, induced by greed, power or selfishness.  Look at the Holocaust, Rwandan genocide, Bosnian War, child sacrifices that took place all around the world, and with it being close to Christmas, remember the massacre of little boys that King Herod ordered in Bethlehem?  In this instance, you have a mentally ill 20 year old.  I'm not giving him a pass by any means, but more focus needs to go into helping those, and their families, with mental illness.

Everyday, there are mothers who make the choice to kill their own children!  Where is the nation wide mourning for that?  Where are the laws against that?  The killing won't stop.  It will continue. As a Christian, the real tragedy of that day were the lives lost who were not saved.  For their lives truly are lost.

Our Advent Banner

I decided last week while at a friend's house that I was going to start the tradition of advent in our home.  I looked up several ways to do it (of course on Pinterest), and didn't see anything I loved. The traditional box with little doors and chocolate was out of the question.  My self control plus chocolate would not end well.

Finally after much thought, I decided to combine advent with one of my favorite things: banners. I'm sure there is someone out there already doing it but I couldn't find any examples.  I drew out a pattern and begin to work.  It took a week of sewing during nap time, after the kid's had gone to bed and a little of "trying" to sew while they played at my feet.  I was two days late finishing it in time for the start of advent, but it is done now and hanging proudly in our window.


Each day Thor takes out a slip of paper in the pocket of the flag counting down to Christmas and we do something fun as a family.  Some of them include things like going to a parade, baking cookies, watching a Christmas movie, making ornaments, getting our tree, wrapping presents, reading the story of Jesus' birth, and so on.  It is only three days in, but has been such a blessing. I'm excited to change the activities as the years go on to reflect the kids' age.

A Post-Thanksgiving Post

As we come to a close in this month of November, I ponder all the things I have to be thankful for. Not just the big things: a roof over my family's head, food to go in our tummies, and good health. But for the little things that we so often take for granted because of how often we are blessed by it: sun rays coming through the window in the morning, phone calls from my siblings just to say hello, the smell of coffee in the press, a big hug from my husband when he gets home from work, the way Gunnar runs to his room when I ask him to pick out a book.  Life is so beautiful, even the days when it seems nothing spectacular has happened, I have much to be thankful for.  

a life of illuminations

Clearly, I'm a type A personality who has her life completely in order.  I mean, it's only been close to a year since my last post and as I type this I have a pile of laundry in the middle of the kitchen floor.  I ought to be getting ready for bed as a responsible mother should, because more than likely I'll be up at 3am nursing my 18 month old.  Yes, I said 18 month old, that's a whole other story. Instead I'm eating peanut butter m&m's (I'm doing an awesome job kicking this sugar addiction), and reflecting.

I'm reflecting on the mother and wife I have been, and the mother and wife I'm in the process of becoming.

Before Thor turned three, I had never been one to yell.  Rarely raised my voice and didn't get uptight about anything.  It was a gradual thing, but before I realized it, I found myself yelling several times a day.  Getting irritated and frustrated easily at his disobedience and his slowness to follow instructions.  Becoming completely overwhelmed with housework.  So moody and emotional I thought I was pregnant on at least three different occasions (I wasn't).  I didn't like this person I had become.         

I say all of this because over the past year I have been illuminated in several aspects of my life:

First, why in the world would I ever expect my three (now four year old), to show patience and self control most of the time?  I'm thirty-one and I can't even do it.  It is going to be a daily struggle for him, something that will flourish over time with the right guidance.

Second, I need to cut the word "hurry" out of my vocabulary.  There is absolutely no need to rush things.  I can count on one hand activities during the week that happen at a specific time.  If Thor and Gunnar want to help me wash dishes but it takes an hour instead of 15 minutes, I do it anyway.  If they want to take their sweet time walking from our door to the car, picking up every leaf along the way, why not?  I stay at home so I can enjoy life with them, teach them in moments that pop up unexpectedly.  Rushing through the day only causes me to miss those.

Third, waking up an hour earlier than everyone else has changed my whole day.  I have time to read, pray, have a cup of coffee or just watch the sun come up in peace.  No little hands pulling on me, no refereeing, no jumping right into the day without first getting myself ready.  How I start my morning sets the tone for the whole day.  Why didn't I learn this years ago?!       

And most important, I was trying to blame everything except me when circumstances weren't ideal.  The boys pick up on my attitude and emotions.  If I'm calm and quiet, even in their disobedience, it goes much smoother and they learn far better than if I'm yelling.  When I'm forgiving, they are more forgiving.  If I want to see a change in my children, it starts with me first. As far as the housework goes, I gladly take on that role and wouldn't get so overwhelmed if I was more organized and didn't procrastinate.  It's something I'm getting better at, but have a long way to go.

It's going to be a long process to become the wife and mother I hope to be.  I was reminded today by a wise friend, that even the Proverbs 31 woman didn't become that overnight.  She had a lifetime of practice and wisdom.        

Homemade Goo

So thanks to an instagram friend, I became introduced to homemade goo. It is seriously the coolest thing. It's a liquid solid. I don't know how else to describe it. Try it though, I'm willing to bet you have all the ingredients in your kitchen. It will keep your child busy long enough for you to wash the dishes or do some laundry.



1 cup of corn starch
1/3 to 1/2 cup of water
food coloring of your choice
Just mix (it's not easy to mix, so you'll want to do it yourself)
And there you have it. Homemade goo.